Well, it just took me a solid thirty minutes to log in to my blog site– Yes, it’s been a little while, hasn’t it? I forgot about the damn thing. That and I lost my voice, but I’m trying to find it again. If I can discipline myself to resurrect this ole’ blog, she will be filled with the cunning witticisms and self-deprecating filth [all three of] you know and love, fear not. Gotta recharge the batteries, first, though….
LIFE RECAP// 2017 seemed endless and often pretty darn challenging. I took some desperately needed time away from the veterinary world, learning quickly [and at times painfully] which other working skills I do and do not possess. I struggled a good bit with finances, emotional wellness and personal relationships [also known as the Kiri Herrmann-Tross Experience.] It sucked, I’ll be honest. I’m slowly building some haphazard “foundation” for 2018 so it isn’t a woeful repeat, but I’m sure as hell stronger today than I was when I quit my job with no plan.
You know when you knee-jerk make a decision under duress and then you regret it and try to quietly change your mind later? Of course you don’t. Me neither. [Nor did Britney when she shaved her head in 2008 and attacked the paparazzi with an umbrella…]
…I made it six months into the Great Job Experiment of 2017 and couldn’t be without the animals anymore. I’m not built for retail [too grumpy] and certainly not built for residential and commercial cleaning [too weak.] Sure, I got some exercise and worked with a handful of wonderful people, but my heart is forever drawn back to pets and their people, so here I am. Being at the front desk of two fantastic hospitals since last June has made the more uncertain parts of my heart happy again. [Note: My most recent shift in December was due to transportation and proximity. I’m now happily working just a few miles from my house.]
I look back and quietly hope that maybe all of the trials and transitions I’ve experienced were for a reason.
Since turning 30, it certainly feels as though everything is a constant unknown. The most complex shift has been in my relationships with those close to me. I’ve decided that it has to be okay to limit time and emotional investment in relationships that are not particularly healthy for me/do not feed my soul. It can feel and appear selfish, but as I grow older, it finally isn’t about everyone liking me all the time– It isn’t about counting my friends among dozens of people and I know that not every family fits together like a Norman Rockwell painting.
—It’s important for me to be accountable, here, and to note: There’s a balance that needs to be found and I am the only one to do it. Avoidance and neglect are terrible habits of mine when it comes to relationships that require more love, understanding and effort. It’s hard to pinpoint where that began as I believe myself to be a pretty loving individual, but it seems the ostrich with her head buried is my spirit animal for the long haul. I’m taking the tiniest of baby steps to realize and practice that my presence and advice can be useful to people. I hope to eventually open back up to the possibility of mutually beneficial bonds with people who may actually need me. I already know how much I need others.—
I think it’s wonderful that lots of people I know are able to effortlessly foster strong relationships within their lives, but maybe we can’t all be that way and that’s alright. Everyone’s path is different and the trusted tribe we choose sometimes takes some editing, triumphs and failures before it’s solid. Another work in progress for me.
Anyways, I sure hope some funny sh*t happens in the coming weeks because this has been a real snoozer to write. It’s more of a journal entry than the way I want the blog to sound, but screw it. We’ll see how it goes this time around…
Thanks for having a look.